Not a big deal, unless of course, it’s a phobia
I feel my heart racing, knowing that it’s Dec. 31st. I had made a promise to put up my first blog tomorrow, which is the beginning of “exposing myself” to whoever happens to read it. Logic tells me it’s ridiculous to be frightened. There won’t be many people reading it, and it’s not like there’s something truly horrible that I’m admitting to; nothing earth-shattering is going to happen. It’s just the story of my life. And there are a lot more interesting stories out there than mine. Why would this be such a big deal?
The only reason it’s a big deal is because there is an unconscious belief somewhere deep within me, that truly believes that if I openly share my story with “just anybody” that it’s unsafe. I mean SERIOUSLY LIFE THREATENING. Logic doesn’t enter into the way my heart is feeling right now. It’s TERRIFYING. I thought I didn’t have any phobias, but if I had one, I think this would be it.
So why do it? I have an innate knowing that it’s time to do this. It’s time to show my light and my shadows. And in doing so, I’ll be showing God that I trust Him. I’m doing it because I feel like I’m being asked to lay it all out there. My love for God goes way beyond my fears, and it’s that love that will see me through this challenge.
So I’ll say this prayer, right here and now. “God, take this currency of love, and do with it what You will. May Your highest intentions and will be done.”
If you would like to help me in this journey, I would be grateful. All I ask is that you hold me in a Sacred Space. Whisper a little prayer and keep me safe in your heart. If you have the time, read the posts and respond. Let me know you’re there listening. If you feel compelled to share your journey with me, I would welcome it with open arms. I'll be posting once a week.
For now, I’ll start with a song. I’ll go and play it on my piano right now.
And you can take a listen right here. I’ll even give you the acoustic version with just me and the piano, so you can get the full effect.
Thanks for holding me in your heart, and being with me in this new year and challenging adventure.